Have you and your man gotten into a fight? It happens. If you’re looking for ideas on how to apologize to your boyfriend or husband, we’ve compiled a list of sorry messages for him to help you get moving in the right direction.

All relationships go through rough patches and it’s normal that people have miscommunications and disagreements from time to time, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t apologize when we mess up. This is where a beautifully crafted sorry message for him can help to express your regret. You’ll find apology messages for a boyfriend, apology messages for a husband, and long distance apology messages here that can help you say what you need to say to let your man know how much you care.

Sorry Messages for Him

Apology Messages for Your Boyfriend

1. I’m so sorry and I know I’ve made a massive mistake, I just hope that we can work through this together.
2. Trust me, I know what an idiot I’ve been. You are an incredible boyfriend and you didn’t deserve this. Please let me try to make this up to you.
3. I am so sorry, babe, please let me try to make you feel better about all this.
4. I know that apologies can only do so much, so please tell me what I can do to try to make this up to you.
5. I know I’ve messed up, but if you could give me a second chance, it will never happen again. The thought of losing you is driving me insane.
6. You are an amazing boyfriend and I’m so very sorry this has happened. Let’s talk soon, please?
7. I keep replaying what I said/did, and it’s all just surreal. You are an amazing boyfriend and you didn’t deserve that.
8. I’m so sorry, babe. If I had a time machine, I’d go back and ____. 
9. I just keep going back to what I said/did and I can’t believe it happened like that. I am so sorry babe, please let me make this right.
10. I am so very sorry to have hurt you, please tell me what I can do to make it better.
11. You have been an amazing boyfriend from the start and I’m the one that’s been the idiot here. Please let me try to show you I can be what you deserve.
12.  You are an incredible boyfriend and I hate that I took you for granted. Please give me another chance to be a better girlfriend/boyfriend for you.
13. If I told you I’m consumed with guilt from what I said/did to you, would you believe me?  
14. You are a wonderful guy and I know I messed up when I did/said ____. I really am so sorry and hope we can talk about it soon. 
15. I know that apologizing can’t make up for what I did/said to you, I just hope you’ll let it be a start for me to try and make this right. 
16. I can’t believe you’re having to go through all this, you deserve so much better. Please let me try to make it better.
17. You = Perfect Boyfriend. Me = Total Idiot. 
18. You have been a dream boyfriend to me and I hate that I haven’t been better for you. I’m so sorry and hope that you will someday give me another chance.
19. I am so sorry, honey, this isn’t who I am, I swear. If you could give me another chance, I promise you I will do everything I can to try to make this up to you and show you who I really am.
20. I am so sorry for being so thoughtless. You are an incredible man, please let me show you what you mean to me.
21. There’s no excuse for my actions, so I won’t even try to make one. I am so sorry and want you to know I’m here whenever you’re willing and able to talk.
22. You are an incredible person and literally everything I’ve ever wanted in a boyfriend, I’m so sorry I’ve endangered our relationship like this. Please let me try to make it up to you.
23. I just keep thinking about how insensitive I was to what you were going through and I’m sorry. That’s not the kind of girlfriend/boyfriend I want to be for you ever.
24. I know that there’s no way for me to talk my way out of what’s happened and I won’t try, I just want you to know I am really and truly so sorry to have hurt you. Please don’t let this be the end for us.
25. I completely understand why you’re angry and you have every right to not want to talk to me. I just want you to know I’m here if and when you’re ready.

Apology Messages for Your Husband

1. My dearest darling husband, I am so very sorry. I’m to blame here, none of this is your fault. 
2.  I know you’re angry with me, but if you would be willing to let me try, I just want to make this up to you.
3. You have been the best husband a person could ever ask for, I’m the one who has fallen so short. I am so sorry, please let me try to make this right.
4. My stupid mistakes have complicated everything and I know that. You are an amazing husband and I’m so grateful that you are willing to talk to me about this.
5. You are an incredible man and I hate that I’ve hurt the man I love most in this world. I’m so sorry, honey.
6. If I could take it back, I would. I’m so sorry.
7. To my incredible husband: I know I’ve made a massive mistake and I am just hoping and praying that you will let me try to make this right.
8. If I could go back and change what I’ve done, I would in a heartbeat. You are my everything and I never wanted to hurt you.
9. My sweet, strong husband: you have always been there for me in every way, and to think that I have hurt you like this is breaking my heart. I’m so sorry, love.
10. I just keep thinking of this beautiful life we have together and how I’ve compromised it. I am so sorry, my love, really and truly.
11. I know this is going to be so hard to get through, but please tell me you think we are worth it.
12. To my sweet husband: I’m so sorry, I just feel like I don’t even deserve you sometimes.
13. Every time I think of how I’ve treated you, I get sick to my stomach. My love, you didn’t deserve this and I am so sorry.
14.  You have always been my everything, and to know that I’ve hurt you is destroying me. I know, I deserve that, I just hope that you can someday forgive me.
15. I just keep thinking of our beautiful life and our shared history and my stupid mistake. I am so sorry, my love. Please let me try to make it up to you.
16. I just want to run to you like I always have when I feel terrible, but I know I can’t right now because as bad as I feel, I’m sure you feel worse. I love you so much and am so sorry.
17. You have always been there for me in every way and I know I’ve let you down. I love you and am so sorry.
18. I have nothing but respect and love for you, and I hate that my actions/words haven’t shown you that. Please let me try and be a better spouse for you.
19. I am so sorry, my love. I just want to have the chance to try and make this up to you, even if it takes the rest of our lives.
20. I wish I could take it all back, but I can’t and I’m just so sorry. I love you so much and will be waiting here for you whenever you’re ready to talk. 
21. We promised we’d stick together through the good times and the bad. I hate that I’m the reason we are going through the bad, but please know I intend to make this right. I love you.
22. You deserve so much better than this and I’m sorry. Please let me try to make this up to you.
23. I keep replaying everything over in my head and I know I’m in the wrong. I’m so sorry, my love.
24. You are my everything and I am so sorry to have hurt you. Please tell me how to make this up to you, sweet husband of mind.
25. I am so sorry, my love. I feel like I’ve broken both our hearts here and I hate that.

Long Distance Apology Messages for Him

1. It’s hard enough being apart when things are amazing, but being apart when I desperately wish I could look you in the eyes and tell you how sorry I am? This is brutal. I am so sorry, babe.
2. I know these I’m sorry messages aren’t going to be enough, but please tell me we can hold on until we are together again to talk this all through in person. 
3. I’m so sorry to have hurt you, I know this is crazy hard to work through long distance, but I really hope we will come out even stronger on the other side.
4. Long distance makes these kinds of communications even harder. I’m so sorry for what’s happened and I just hope that you’ll give me a chance to make it up to you.
5. I wish I could be there with you right now to show you how sorry I am. I just want to make it better for you.
6. I’m so sorry, honey. What can I do to help make this better?
7. I know what I would do if I was there in person with you to try to make this better, but since I can’t do that, please tell me how I can try to make this right.
8. If we didn’t have all this stupid distance between us, I would show you in person how very sorry I am. I hate that we have to be apart like this.
9. We knew that long-distance relationships are hard, but these long-distance fights are even harder. I’m so sorry, love.
10. As far apart as the physical distance has been, I’ve never felt this far apart from you as I do right now. I’m so sorry for everything, I am hoping you’ll let me try to make this up to you.
11. I don’t want to make excuses for my behavior because there aren’t any and I’m just so very sorry. I hope this apology message can be the start of us working through this mess.
12. I am so sorry. I know you’re probably considering walking away from this long-distance relationship because of this, but I can promise you that if you just hold on, I’ll do everything in my power to make this right.
13. I have missed you so much throughout this distance, now I feel like I’ve put even more distance between us with this screw up. Please tell me I can make this right.
14. I hate that I’ve been such a crappy long-distance partner. I’m going to make this up to you, I swear.
15. I just keep imagining that there will be a day soon when we will be together again in person and able to look in each other’s eyes and say how glad we are that we held on through this. I love you and am so sorry.
16. Long-distance apologies are stupid hard and I wish I could just sit next to you and talk all this out. I’m so sorry.
17. I always miss you, but I wish now more than ever that I could see you in person to know what you’re really thinking. I’m so sorry, honey.
18. I feel like this has put even more between us than the physical distance we already had. I hate this and I’m sorry.
19. I know we can get through this if you’ll just hang on here with me. Please, let me show you how sorry I am and how good we can be.
20. Never have I wanted to be able to teleport to you as badly as I do right now. I just want to see you in person to tell you how very sorry I am for all of this.
21. Long-distance relationships are hard but it’s not an excuse for what’s happened and I know that. I’m so sorry and hope we can move through this together.
22. You mean so much to me and I am so sad to think that our relationship is in trouble because of me. Please let me try to make this right for us.
23. I wish I could be there to tell you how sorry I am in person. I really miss you and can’t wait to see you in person again so I can show you what you really mean to me. 
24. I know I’m sorry won’t make up for what’s happened here, but please know that I really and truly am.
25. I’m so sorry. I know text apologies like this just aren’t enough, but I’m hoping it’s a start for us.

Expressing how sorry we are can be difficult for many reasons, but if you’re trying to find the perfect words to show him how you feel, then these apologizing love messages will hopefully help you get moving in the right direction. One of the most important things about apologizing to a boyfriend or husband is that we have to own up and acknowledge what we’ve done and also be clear that we hope to make things right. Everyone messes up sometimes, it’s what we do in the aftermath that really counts.

It can be helpful to be specific when you’re apologizing to your boyfriend or husband, ie “I’m really sorry that ___” so that he can really feel that you understand why they’re hurt and upset. If you don’t mind a long sorry message for him, try being specific in how you hope to make it better, too. Apologies are tough, but if you commit to sending sorry messages for him that show him you know why he’s upset and you hope to be able to make it better, you’ll be well on your way to working through the situation you find yourself in. Hopefully, these apology messages for him help you get to that point.

You might also like:

• 10 Common Relationship Problems (and how to fix them!)
• How to Save Your Marriage: 7 Tried & True Tips for You
• 7 Tips for a Long Distance Relationship
• How to Fall Back in Love with Your Partner: Tips from 10+ Years of Marriage
• Affair-Proof: 7 Ways to Protect Your Marriage from Infidelity
• The Incredible Importance of Self Care in Marriage
• The First Year of Marriage: A Survival Guide
• 50 Festive & Romantic Christmas Messages for Him
• 5 Tips for Better Communication in Relationships
• How to Tell Someone You Like Them: Tips for Grown Ass Adults
• Love Letters for Him: Ideas for Sweet, Sexy, Long-Distance & More!
• 60 Loving Texts for Him that Will Make Him Feel Adored

Amy Hartle

Amy Hartle is the author of Do You Love Me? How To Stop Seeking Reassurance in Relationships, a book on reassurance seeking and relationship anxiety. Both her book and this blog are born of personal experience; Amy shares expert relationship advice from the lessons learned during her own 10+ years with her husband, as well as couples travel tips and romantic getaway recommendations, all gleaned while traveling the world together.

twodrifters.us

Have you and your love had a fight? We know, it happens. If you’re looking for how to apologize to your girlfriend or wife after a fight, we’ve put together a list of sorry messages for her to help you put into words how you feel.

Relationships can be tough and sometimes people might say or do things that they need the perfectly crafted apology message for. If that’s where you are, it really is okay. There are romantic sorry messages, sweet apologies to a girlfriend, I’m sorry quotes for wives and more in this list of I’m sorry messages for her so you can show her how you really feel.

Sorry Messages for Her

Apology Messages for Your Girlfriend

1. I know I messed up when I did/said ____. I really am so sorry and hope we can talk about it soon.
2. If I told you I’m consumed with guilt from what I said/did to you, what would you say?
3. I still am kicking myself for making such a stupid mistake. I really am so sorry.
4. If I had a time machine, I’d go back and not ____. I’m so sorry.
5. While saying sorry can’t possibly make up for what I did/said to you, I hope you know I really and truly am sorry.
6. I feel like the dumbest boyfriend/girlfriend ever to do/say what I did to the world’s best girlfriend. I’m a chump and I’m sorry.
7. I keep replaying what I said/did, and I just don’t understand how I did it. You are an amazing girlfriend and you don’t deserve that.
8. I know sorry will only get me so far, so please tell me what I can do to make this right for us.
9. I know I’ve made a massive mistake, I just hope that you will be willing to hear me out.
10. The fact that you don’t have my number blocked just makes me realize what a generous, kind person you are and I just want to make it up to you in any way I can.
11. You have been nothing but absolutely amazing in this relationship and I just want to have the opportunity to make this up to you and give you what you deserve. 
12. You are an incredible girlfriend and I’m so very sorry that this happened. Let’s talk, please.
13. I hope you know that I know what an idiot I am. Seriously, who says/does that to their amazing girlfriend? This isn’t who I want to be and I’m sorry
14. I keep replaying what I said/did and I just can’t believe it played out like that. I am so, so sorry, please let me make it up to you.
15. If you could give me a second chance, I can promise you that something like this will never, ever happen again. The very thought of losing you has taught me a very painful lesson, and I am just so sorry I’ve put you through this.
16. I am so sorry for being so thoughtless. You deserve better and I want to make it up to you.
17. I was insensitive to you and I’m sorry. I want to be the boyfriend/girlfriend you deserve, please give me a chance to show you.
18. You have every right to be mad at me and I don’t want to push you. I’m so sorry and I’m here whenever you feel ready to talk.
19. You are everything I’ve ever wanted in a girlfriend, I’m so sorry I’ve compromised what we have. Please let me make it up to you.
20. What I did was foolish, there’s no way I can possibly rationalize my stupid behavior. I’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve that.
21. I am so sorry, really and truly. Please don’t let this be the end of our story.
22. If you could find it in your heart to give me another chance, I promise you I won’t rest until I show you who I really am.
23. You = Perfect Girlfriend. Me = Total Idiot. 
24. I know there’s no excuse for my actions, so I won’t make one. I just want you to know I am so sorry to have hurt you.
25. You are an incredible girlfriend and I hate that I’ve fallen so short with you. I’m sorry and hope that someday I can try to make it up to you.

Apology Messages for Your Wife

1. To my beautiful wife: I know I’ve messed up and I can only hope that you will let me try and make it up to you.
2. You have always been there for me in every way, and to think that I wasn’t there for you when you needed me breaks my heart and I probably deserve that. I’m so sorry.
3. We have such a beautiful history together. I am so sorry that my actions have compromised that.
4. I know that there’s no changing the past, but please know that I wake up every morning wishing I could. I’m so very sorry.
5. You are an incredible woman and I really don’t know how I have ever deserved you. I’m so sorry for what I’ve done and hope we can talk things through soon.
6. If I could take it back, I would. I’m so sorry.
7. You are an amazing wife and none of this is your fault. I’m to blame here, for all of it.
8. I know this has complicated everything, but I appreciate you being willing to talk to me about it. I love you and am so sorry.
9. I don’t deserve a second chance, I know that, but if you would be willing to keep moving forward with me, I promise you you’ll never regret it.
10. You are basically a perfect wife and I’m the idiot in this marriage. I’m so sorry.
11. I know this is going to be so hard to get through, but please tell me you think we are worth it.
12. This is all my fault. I hate that I’ve hurt the woman I love most in this world.
13. I want to comfort you so badly, but I feel like I can’t because I’m the one who hurt you and this is a horrible feeling.
14.  You have always been my everything, and to know that I’ve failed you is destroying me. I know, I deserve that, I just hope that you can someday forgive me.
15. I am so sorry, I understand why you’re angry. We’ve had such an incredible history together, I am hoping you will give me a chance to make this right.
16. Every day I wake up with my heart breaking, remembering what has happened. I am so sorry, please let me try to make this up to you.
17. I hate that this has happened, and I just hope that you believe me when I say that I never wanted to hurt you and I’ll live with this regret for the rest of my life.
18. I am a fool to have mistreated you like this. I respect, admire, and love you always, and my actions here haven’t shown you that, but I promise I can make this right.
19. I have so many regrets in this life, but my biggest one is hurting you like this. I am so sorry, please let me try to make this up to you.
20. I love you so much and am so sorry I’ve hurt you, my darling wife. I am an idiot, please forgive me.
21. I am so sorry. We said “in good times and in bad,” well, I’m so sorry I’ve brought the bad. Please let me make this right for us.
22. You are my favorite person on this planet and I’ve hurt you. I’ve broken both our hearts and I’m so sorry.
23. I am so sorry for what I said/did. I’m a total mess without you, please let me try to make this up to you.
24. The idea that I could compromise this marriage, the very best thing that’s ever happened to me, with my thoughtless words/actions is destroying me. I’m so sorry I’ve put you through this.
25. You deserve much better than this and I’m sorry. Please let me show you how much you mean to me.

Long Distance I’m Sorry Messages for Her

1. I know I’m sorry won’t make up for what’s happened here, but please know that I really and truly am.
2. I hate that I can’t be there to tell you how sorry I am in person. I really miss you.
3. I wish I could rewind the clock and take it all back, but I can’t. Please don’t throw away our future over my stupid actions. I’m so sorry and want to make this right.
4. Being so far apart makes these apologies so hard to deliver. You deserve the best and I haven’t shown you that so far, please give me another chance to show you how I feel.
5. I am so sorry for everything that’s happened. I hope and pray you’ll give me another chance to show you what you mean to me in person.
6. All this distance between us makes it even harder to try and figure out where to go from here. I am so sorry for everything, please tell me what I can do to make it better.
7. If I was there with you in person, I would try to show you how sorry I am, but since all I have are words, please know I love and miss you so much and will do everything I can to make this right.
8. I know we can’t be together in person right now, but I want you to know that I will go anywhere and do anything to make this right. Tell me what to do to prove to you how sorry I am.
9. No one said long-distance relationships were easy, but I had no idea long-distance apologies would be so insanely hard. I’ve been an idiot, please forgive me.
10. I know that there are no words that can adequately express what a fool I’ve been, but I want you to know that I know I messed up and I am begging you to give me a chance to be the partner you deserve. 
11. There are no excuses to be made here so I won’t even try. Please just know I am so very sorry and this distance between us-both physical and emotional-is breaking my heart. Please allow me to show you what you mean to me.
12. If there was a way for me to teleport through this phone to you, I would do it in a heartbeat so you could see me down on my knees, begging you to please forgive me. 
13. I have missed you so much throughout this distance, now I feel like I’ve put even more distance between us with this screw-up. Please tell me I can make this right.
14. I am so sorry for being such a horrible long-distance partner. I just want to try and make it up to you.
15. I hope that there’s a day coming when we will finally be together again in the same place, finally, where we will laugh about all this and be grateful we held on to each other.
16. I know long-distance relationships are never easy but trying to fix a stupid mistake like this with a long-distance apology is a whole new level of hard here. I’m so sorry.
17. I miss you always, but especially now as I just feel desperate to see your face and hear your voice and know what’s happening in your head and heart. Please forgive me.
18. If I could make this all go away, I would. I hate that I’ve put even more between us than the distance we were already dealing with.
19. You are so important to me and the thought of us being together again one day is what has gotten me through. I know I’ve messed up, but please don’t throw away what we have because I was an idiot. I can do better, I promise.
20. I know there’s no reason for you to believe me and it would probably be easier to just walk away from this long-distance relationship, but please hear me when I say that I can make it all worthwhile if you can just hang on through this with me. 
21. I have messed up so much with you and I don’t blame you for being angry. I blame myself for being such an idiot, and I know the long-distance thing isn’t an excuse.
22. I am so lucky to have you, and I just hope that doesn’t change because of what I said/did. I want us to come back together even stronger than we ever were before, and I’m sorry to have hurt you.
23. I think I could spend the rest of my life typing out sorry texts to you, but they could never completely express how remorseful I am. Please just hold on until I can look you in your eyes again.
24. Being apart through the good times is hard enough, but being apart through this? I’m so sorry for everything, I wish I was there to hold you and make it better.
25. I am so sorry, I just hope that you’ll give me another chance to make this right when we are back together again. These text apologies will never come close to showing you how I feel like holding you in my arms again can.                                                                                                                                                                                

It can be really hard to express your remorse when you’ve messed up, but if you can take these sorry messages for her and add your own words to them, taking ownership of your actions, you might be able to show her how sorry you feel. It’s not easy trying to form romantic sorry messages, because romantic apologies are always bittersweet, but if you can be honest, open, and let her know that you know you’ve messed up, you might just find forgiveness, and maybe even a second chance.

There are also good morning messages for her, clever bedtime messages for her, and sweet anytime messages for her, too, if you’d like to get some more text ideas for her.

Whether you end up saying, writing or texting these sorry messages for her, we hope you find peace and resolution in your relationship.

You might also like:

• Habits of Happy Couples: 7 Things To Do for an Amazing Relationship
• Top Signs of an Unhappy Marriage (and how to make it better)
• The First Year of Marriage: A Survival Guide
• Affair-Proof: 7 Ways to Protect Your Marriage from Infidelity
• 15 Heartfelt Love Letters for Her: Ideas for Every Occasion!
• Relationship Advice for Couples: 12 Principles for Lasting Relationships
• How to Build Trust in a Relationship (Even if it’s Broken)

Amy Hartle

Amy Hartle is the author of Do You Love Me? How To Stop Seeking Reassurance in Relationships, a book on reassurance seeking and relationship anxiety. Both her book and this blog are born of personal experience; Amy shares expert relationship advice from the lessons learned during her own 10+ years with her husband, as well as couples travel tips and romantic getaway recommendations, all gleaned while traveling the world together.

twodrifters.us

What could be more romantic than a good old-fashioned love letter? There is something so heartwarming about being able to physically see how your partner feels about you written out. Plus, it’s such a lovely keepsake to have tucked away throughout the years to read over again any time you need a reminder of how much you are loved. 

A romantic love letter for him can be a part of a grand gesture expression of love or just a sweet reminder to your honey that they are the one for you. Whether you’re looking for sweet love letters for him, sexy love letters for him, or something in between, we’ve got some ideas below to get you started. These can work for love letters to your husband or love letters for boyfriends, and even a few might work as love letters for a crush if you tweak it right!

Put pen to paper (or fingertips to keyboard) and express how you really feel with one of these love letters for him! 

Love Letters for Him

Sweet Love Letters for Him

My Sweet Love,

 I have to tell you, you are always present in my thoughts, but today I just cannot seem to stop thinking of you! You are always so sweet to me and I just want to try to make you feel the way you make me feel every single day. 

I try to imagine what life would be like without you, my sweet love, but that’s just such an impossible thought that I can’t. You are too amazing, too perfect for me, I simply can’t even begin to imagine my world without you in it! You have spoiled me with your sweetness and all I can do is hope to be half as sweet back to you as you are to me. 

    XOXOXOXO,

                      Me

To The Man Making My Heart Go Wild,

 Here I am, writing you a love letter even though I know I’m going to see you soon. I guess this is just a picture-perfect example of how hard you are making me fall for you. 

There are so many things about you that I admire and love, like your fun-loving spirit and your gorgeous smile, that I just can’t seem to get out of my head! I suppose there are worse things in life than having someone as incredible like you in my thoughts, right? I just want you to know that since we’ve been spending all this time together, you’ve made it so I look forward to every single new day because I know you will be in it. It’s cheesy, I know, but it’s so true! 

        With Love,

                 Me

My Love,

I wonder if you have any idea how much I love you? Well, just in case you don’t quite have the full picture, let me fill you in on a few things. #1 Since we got together, you are basically on my mind every single day, all day. #2 Since the first time you told me you loved me, I’ve been walking around feeling like a helium balloon that’s flying higher and higher into the clouds. #3 When I try to imagine what life would be like without you, I literally cannot because you have become my entire life.

I don’t know if this paints a clear enough picture for you, but I want you to know that every single day, you have my heart. Every single day, I am here for you. Every single day, I am yours. 

     With Love Always,

                        Me

Post Fight Love Letters for Him

My Love,

Okay, I know this fight was bad. There are things I said that I wish I could take back, and I’m sure you wish the same. I can’t change the past, but I can tell you right now, from this present moment, that I will make every possible effort to slow down and consider my words more carefully in any future fight we may have. 

It’s never my intention to hurt you, so I know that if we ever get into this kind of fight again, I’m going to make a different choice to cool off before I respond so you and I never have to feel this way again. I hope you can trust me with your heart still, just as I will always trust you with mine. I’m not going anywhere, okay?

     All My Love,

                    Me

My Sweet Man,

Disagreements are a part of life, but I know that you and I can handle them. I hope you know that a silly fight like this one will never ever change how I feel about you. You are my guiding star, I need you in my life and that isn’t changing anytime soon. 

I hope that we are always able to navigate these kinds of disagreements in a respectful, loving way with each other, and I think that our ability to do that means we can probably make it through just about anything. 

Always Yours,

            Me

My Love,

I keep going over how we got here. I  know that we both had a lot of things that needed to be said for a long time, and saying them was healthy because we can’t address any of our issues if we aren’t willing to talk about them with each other. No person is perfect and no relationship is perfect, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make sure ours is perfectly imperfect!

I want us to be able to talk openly about all this, so if that’s in letters like this one or on the phone or in person, let’s lay our cards out on the table and see what we’ve got. I’m going to start: you mean the world to me and I don’t want to lose this. I’m here to do what I can to resolve all our issues. Let’s be on the same team, okay?

Love Always,

                Me

Sexy Love Letters for Him

Hey Sexy,

I know you know that you are in my thoughts literally every day, but now, you’re in my dreams too! Ummm can I just say that last night’s dream was a little X rated, but you know what? I am 100% not complaining! Basically, you’ve got me all turned around, flipped upside down, and I’m hoping for more of that later tonight… either in my dreams or in person. 

Here’s to seeing you tonight, either way.

    XOXOXO,

               Me

My Love,

I cannot get over last night. Everything about last night. The way you looked, the way you sounded, the way you tasted. I can’t get these things out of my head, but I really don’t want to so that’s alright.

Can I just say that I am eagerly awaiting a repeat. I guess you just bring out the naughty in me and I love it!

Your Naughty Love,

                          Me

Hey There,

I just keep having all these thoughts about you, and I have to tell you, not many of them are PG! You are just such a sexy, sexy man that I can’t resist thinking of you and all the things I want to do with you…

So here is my plan: you, me, and a little privacy, TONIGHT. I cannot wait to see you and will be counting down the minutes.

Yours,

    Me

Birthday Love Letters for Him

Hey Birthday Boy,

At the risk of sounding stupid cheesy, I am so grateful for you every day, but especially today because today we get to celebrate that you were born ___ years ago! I am so happy to have you in my life and I want you to feel today how special you are to me.

What can I do to make your birthday special? Tell me what I can do to treat you today, Birthday Boy!

   All my Love,

            Me

Happy Birthday!

On this day, your day, I want you to know that I think you are one of the coolest guys I’ve ever known. Really and truly, you continue to surprise me each and every day with new ways that you show up for me. I just want to spend today showing up for you in every way that I can!

So buckle up, because today we are celebrating YOU. I can’t wait to be with you and celebrate one of my most favorite days of the year: the day that you, my love, were born.

 XOXOXO,

        Me

Funny Love Letters for Him

To Whom This May Concern,

I am writing today to inform you that I have officially crossed the threshold of no return with you. You have shown me time and time again how absolutely sweet, generous, kind, and thoughtful you are, and I have to say, you have given me no choice but to fall head over heels, hopelessly in love with you.

Due to these previously unforeseen circumstances, I am now compelled to state in writing my current objectives and expectations: I intend to be yours now, tomorrow, and in perpetuity as long as you will have me, and I expect that you will go on being your absolutely marvelous self, and as long as these conditions are met, our contract can continue in good faith to the full satisfaction of both parties involved.

Also, I love you.

    Awaiting Your Reply,

                   Me

To My Sweet Love,

I don’t know how you’re feeling today, but you should be exhausted from running through my dreams ALL night last night! I know it’s cheesy, but it’s true. I just keep thinking of you and all the fun things we do when we’re together… and all the fun things we do when we’re together….

Yeah, it’s going to be a loooooooong day for me today waiting for you, but you’re worth it. So far, anyway. I’m teasing, of course you’re worth it always!

Yours in Waiting,

         Me

Long Distance Love Letters for Him

Hey Love,

How are you? I hope all is well where you are, but I have to tell you that this long distance thing is made even harder by the fact that you are so amazing and I just want you here closer to me! Where you are is very, very lucky to have you, and I hope everyone around you knows that. 

I miss you so much each and every day and I can’t wait until we are together again. I love you so much and think of you every day. Take care of yourself for me, okay?

Sending My Love,

                 Me

For My Love,

I keep a countdown of when I get to see you in person again and I have to tell you, there are days when I’m sure time is literally slowing down. How else can we possibly explain how long this time apart feels? When we are together, time just flies by. When we are apart, it ~ s l o w s ~ to an absolute crawl.

None of that really matters though, because no matter what, I’m here waiting for you. You are worth the wait, always, so I guess I’ll just try to buck up and stand strong until I’m back in your arms again. I love you!

Your Long Distance Love,

                 Me

There are so many sweet ways to express our love for each other, but writing it all out in an old-fashioned love letter is probably one of the best ways to show him you care. It doesn’t have to be on paper either, you can send a digital love letter, too, but when it comes to keepsakes of love, a folder of loved letters saved to the desktop maybe doesn’t hit the same way a physical love letter tucked away in a special spot in your room does.

Either way, be true to your heart and true to your relationship and speak your own truth, using these love letter templates as your guide. Go deep or stay sweet, either way you’re sure to have the perfect love letter for him.

You might also like:

• 35 Amazing Long Distance Relationship Gifts For Couples
• 7 Tips for a Long Distance Relationship
• Do You Love Me? How to Stop Needing Reassurance in a Relationship
• Words of Affirmation for Him: 50 Ways to Encourage Your Man
• Words of Affirmation Love Language: A How-To Guide
• What are the 5 Love Languages? A Quick Five Love Languages Summary
• 75 Perfect Sorry Messages for Him to Show How Much You Care

Amy Hartle

Amy Hartle is the author of Do You Love Me? How To Stop Seeking Reassurance in Relationships, a book on reassurance seeking and relationship anxiety. Both her book and this blog are born of personal experience; Amy shares expert relationship advice from the lessons learned during her own 10+ years with her husband, as well as couples travel tips and romantic getaway recommendations, all gleaned while traveling the world together.

twodrifters.us

Was he the star of your dreams last night? Let him know by texting good morning messages for him that will get his day started off right! 

Whether you’re looking for good morning text ideas for your boyfriend or your husband, your man will love knowing he is on your mind, and sending fun and flirty good morning messages for him is a great way to ensure you’ll be on his mind aaaaaall day; plus, who doesn’t love a flirty good morning text?

Show your man some love and affection with these flirty good morning messages for him!

Fun Good Morning Messages for Your Boyfriend

1. Good morning to the sweetest man I know!

2. Hope you had a great night’s sleep, you’re going to need it for what I have planned for us later!

3. You were def on my mind last night because I dreamt of you all night long. Still not as good as the real deal; good morning, I’ll see you later!

4. Good morning, hope your coffee is as hot as you are… Actually, maybe just a little less, don’t want you to burn yourself

5. Good morning to the man of my dreams… literally, you were the star of my dreams last night, I’ll tell you all about it later!

6. Good morning! It’s definitely a good one for me because I’m pretty excited for our date tonight!

7. Good morning, here’s hoping you and your cute butt have a fantastic day!

8. Good morning, cutie. Woke up with a smile just thinking of you.

9. Good morning! Hope you have a day as awesome as you are!

10. I love waking up knowing you’re my boyfriend. It’s a very good morning for me here, how about you?

11. Good morning, I hope you woke up feeling as happy about yesterday as I did! 

12. Good morning, babe. I’m hoping my morning coffee will taste as strong and sweet as you are!

13. Good mornings are always good for me when I know I’ll see you later.

14. Good morning to the coolest guy ever… hope you’re off to a great start today!

15. I’m thinking of you already, it’s going to be a long day until I finally get to see you tonight! 

16. I wake up and you are the first thought on my mind. I’m okay with this! Good morning <3

17. Good morning to the person who makes me smile every single day!

18. I hope you’re having a good morning over there XOXOXO

19. It’s always a good morning for me when I have seeing you later to look forward to.

20. Good morning, I’ll be thinking of you today!

21. Good morning to the cutest guy ever, can’t wait to hang later <3

22. You were in my dreams last night and it was great… I didn’t even have to miss you in my sleep!

23. I hope your morning coffee tastes as strong and sweet as you are…

24. Good morning handsome, you were the first thing on my mind this morning and I don’t mind that at all!

25. Good morning to the sweetest guy I’ve ever known… hope you had sweet dreams last night!

26. Good morning Mister, hope you’re feeling refreshed and ready for our date tonight!

27. Good morning to my sweet and sexy and always wonderful boyfriend!

28. Good mornings are all I’ve had since we started dating and I just want to tell you how happy I am with you. I’m hoping I am returning the favor!

Hot and Heavy Good Morning Texts

29. Good morning, babe! Hope your coffee tastes as magical as you did last night…

30. Good morning… wait until I tell you what you were doing to me in my dreams last night!

31. It is absolutely a GREAT morning for me! You’ll never believe what we did in my dreams last night!

32. Good morning, babe… ooooooh I cannot wait until I get my hands on you tonight!!!

33. I literally woke up this morning craving you. No joke. I’m going to devour you tonight…

34. Good morning and I hope your dreams were as… umm… exciting as mine were LOL!

35. I’m going to have to work up the courage to tell you the kind of wild stuff we were doing in my dreams last night! Good morning, indeed.

36. Good mornings are a given for me after I have the kinds of spicy dreams I had about you last night! Super hot, babe! 

37. Good morning to the hottest guy I know… can’t wait to be with you later.

38. Good morning! Would be an even better morning if you were here so I could show you a little of what we were doing in my dreams last night…

39. I think I blushed just seeing your name in my phone… I’ll fill you in on the naughty shenanigans we were up to in my dreams last night when I see you later. Whew! HOT.

40. Good morning! For your eyes only… (wait a minute before sending a sleepy, still in bed pic for him, wishing him a good day. He’ll love the sexy tease to start his day!)

41. Okay, I know I slept well because I dreamed some very X rated dreams about you, but I woke up with my heart racing with excitement! Cannot wait to see you tonight!

42. Good morning, I’d like to live out my dreams with you… my very naughty dreams from last night!

43. Good morning to the man so hot, my sleeping brain has me dreaming all kinds of hot and heavy dreams of you!

44. I woke up this morning immediately thinking of last night… it’s a very good morning for me here with my memories, hope you’re having a good one, too!

45. Good morning to the man who kept me up waaaaay too late last night… and I can’t wait to do it all again tonight

46. Good morning… you should be feeling really proud of your performance last night… I’m still reeling over here <3

47. Good morning to the man who makes me tremble with anticipation of his touch… come over soon and do that some more, k?

48. Good morning, hottie. Hoping for a repeat of last night soon!

49. Good morning to the man who makes me really excited to be bad with him…

50. Good morning? After last night, this is a GREAT morning and I’m down for a repeat!

51. Good morning to the man who had me all hot and bothered last night… and will hopefully do it again tonight

Sweet Good Morning Texts for Your Husband

52. Good morning to the man who has been my #1 since <the year you got together>

53. Good morning to the hottest husband around!

54. Good morning, husband of mine. Hope you had a good night’s sleep!

55. Hope you’re having a great day, hon, good morning!

56. Even after all these years, you’re still the man of my dreams! Good morning, babe.

57. Good morning to the man who puts all the other husbands to shame!

58. I am so lucky to wake up to a husband like you and don’t I know it! 

59. Good morning, I hope you have a day just like you… absolutely freakin wonderful! 

60. Good morning to the best husband a person could ask for!

61. It’s always a good morning for me when I wake up and I’m still yours and you’re still mine <3

62. Good morning to the man who’s still got it going on, even after all these years!

63. Good morning, my love. I had a naughty dream about you last night! Can’t wait to tell you tonight

64. Good morning, hon, I’m thinking of you today!

65. I woke up thinking I’m lucky that I’ve got a man who ages like fine wine… Yummy!]

66. Good morning to the man who continues to drive me wild in all the best ways!

67. Good morning to my favorite guy, I hope your morning is going well so far.

68. Good morning! I love you, my big, strong, sexy guy <3

69. I’m a lucky woman to get sleep next to you each night. Hope you’re having a good morning, babe.

70. Good morning, my love! You wore me out in all the best ways last night… thank you

71. Good morning to the sweetest husband ever! I’ve got plans for us later, k?

72. Good morning, sweet husband of mine! Let me take you out later? I wanna show off my hunky husband a bit.

73. Good morning to the man who has made sure every morning is a good one since the day we got married!

74. Making me wake up with a smile on my face since <insert date you got together>, thank you, husband of mine!

75. Good morning to the coolest husband ever! Trust me, I am an expert as I actually have the coolest husband ever, so….

76. Good morning to the man I somehow love more and more each and every day.

77. It’s always a good morning when I wake up next to you… hope you’re having a great day!

78. Good morning, my love! Hope your coffee is as lovely as you make me feel every single day <3

 Sending sweet texts to your man is always fun, and while sending cute goodnight texts means he will drift off to sleep thinking of you, sending fun and flirty good morning messages to him means you’ll be on his mind all day long!

Texting throughout the day is a great way to stay connected even when you’re not together. Remind your man he’s always on your mind by sending a cute good morning text his way as you head your separate ways!

You may also like:

• 60 Loving Texts for Him that Will Make Him Feel Adored
• Love Letters for Him: Ideas for Sweet, Sexy, Long-Distance & More!
• Words of Affirmation for Him: 50 Ways to Encourage Your Man
• 10 Relationship Rituals That Will Help Your Love Grow Stronger
• 10 Ways to Maintain Connection in a Relationship
• 50 Festive & Romantic Christmas Messages for Him
• 75 Sweet and Meaningful Sorry Messages for Her
• Couples Morning Routine: Ideas and Inspiration for Morning Rituals
• 77 Powerful Quotes about Trust in a Relationship
• How to Build Trust in a Relationship (Even if it’s Broken)
• How to Tell Someone You Like Them: Tips for Grown Ass Adults
• 75 Perfect Sorry Messages for Him to Show How Much You Care

Amy Hartle

Amy Hartle is the author of Do You Love Me? How To Stop Seeking Reassurance in Relationships, a book on reassurance seeking and relationship anxiety. Both her book and this blog are born of personal experience; Amy shares expert relationship advice from the lessons learned during her own 10+ years with her husband, as well as couples travel tips and romantic getaway recommendations, all gleaned while traveling the world together.

twodrifters.us

Communication is always an important element in relationships: when saying good night to your man, send off sweet good night messages for him that will ensure thoughts of you are all that’s on his mind as he drifts off to sleep! Whether you’re looking for goodnight messages for your boyfriend or goodnight texts for your husband, we’ve got plenty to choose from!

Maybe you’re feeling like sending cute goodnight texts that make him smile that goofy smile you’ve come to love so much, or maybe you’re looking for spicy goodnight texts that will have you both feeling the heat; either way, you can find inspiration here in this list of cute good night messages for him!

Cute Good Night Messages for Your Boyfriend

1. If my dreams are half as sweet as you are to me, it’s going to be a good night…

2. Is it possible to be so incredibly happy with someone that thinking of them makes it hard to sleep? Is that a thing? Because I think that’s happening to me rn…

3. Today was amazing… you are amazing! Good night!

4. Btw, you were absolutely adorable today when you <insert cute thing> and I’m just grinning to myself over here remembering it. Good night, babe!

5. You make me feel safe when we’re together. I miss you already… sweet dreams.

6. Your arms. I miss them right now! Good night <3

7. I know that I’ll see you again tomorrow, but the problem is that that is so freakin exciting to me that now I can’t sleep and UGH I miss you! Good night!

8. Whyyyyyy does tomorrow feel so far away? Oh, that’s right, it’s because I have to make it through the night without you to get there. Booooo, good night <3

9. Wish you were here so I could feel those strong arms wrapped around me all night long. 

10. I’m just laying here so thankful I have such a sweet boyfriend to text good night to.

11. We spent all day together and still I’m like, nope, I could totally go for more. Miss you, babe, good night!

12. You are basically my dream boyfriend… here’s hoping I see you in my dreams, too! 

13. To the man who stole my heart: good night <3

14. Sweet dreams to my dream man!

15. It’s funny because I know I have to sleep to get to tomorrow to see you again but the excitement of getting to see you again is making it hard to fall asleep and what even is this sorcery you’ve used on me? Nevermind, I like it, keep it up <3

16. The more I learn about you, the more I like you. I’m okay with this! Good night, babe!

17. If a genie appeared and granted me three wishes, the first one would be more wishes because duh, but then the second one would be to be in your arms again. Good night, hon.

18. Going to sleep now so I can dream of you…

19. I’ll dream of you if you dream of me, k? <3

20. Pretty sure I’m going to dream of you tonight, literally cannot stop thinking of you today! 

21. So much harder to fall asleep alone now that I know how strong your snuggle game is… 

22. The dream version of you is still pretty awesome, but the real you is way better. I guess I’ll take what I can get… good night!

23. You know how some people count sheep to fall asleep? I count reasons why you’re awesome. 

24. Sweet dreams to the guy who stole my heart!

25. I have dreamt about you every single night this week, what the heck did I even dream about before you? Who cares, I’m heading towards more dreams of you… Good night <3

26. It was amazing to spend the day with you today! I’ll take more of that, please. Good night!

Hot and Flirty Good Night Texts for Him

27. Today was a very, very good day… you know the part of the day I’m talking about!

28. I wish you were here so we could continue what we started earlier… Miss you, good night!

29. I just keep thinking of the way your arms feel around me, the way your lips taste, just…. Ugh, now I’m DEFINITELY going to have a hard time falling to sleep! 

30. I can’t quit thinking about you, babe! I think my dreams might be X-rated tonight.

31. Having some very naughty thoughts about you right now, can’t wait to share them with you tomorrow… he he!

32. I am missing you so much right now… like ALL of you, if you know what I mean.

33. Remembering what we did earlier is making it hard to settle down for bed all alone here… good night over there!

34. I need a fan or something to cool off with over here, just thinking about how hot you are is keeping me awake!

35. I can still smell you on my sheets. Making it very, very hard to get to sleep.

36. I wish you were here to cuddle me right now, but something tells me we wouldn’t be doing a whole lot of sleeping…

37. Thinking of you and that thing you do with your tongue that drives me crazy… definitely going to take a while for me to get to sleep here!

38. I know you told me to have sweet dreams, but I think I’d rather them be a little spicy tonight…

39. I know in my head it’s time to go to sleep, but my body says it would rather be with you again…

40. So if I were to tell you what I’m wearing right now… or not wearing right now… would you respond in kind?

41. My body aches it misses you so much…

42. If I were to tell you I’m feeling naughty and nice, what would you say about that?

43. I know we need to get some sleep tonight, but I just can’t quit fantasizing about pulling an all-nighter with you…

44. It’s not fair that you’re so incredibly hot that I just want you all the time and can hardly even sleep because of it.

45. I wish you were here… memories of you are driving me crazy and I’d like to return the favor.

Sweet Good Night Messages for Your Husband

46. I know you/I have to be away for work, but you’ve got me so spoiled that I hate to sleep without your arms wrapped around me.

47. Anything that keeps me away from you and those big strong arms at bedtime sucks, just saying.

48. Marriage should mean never being deprived of your amazing bedtime snuggles, texting good night isn’t the same!

49. I’m on my way home, babe, can’t wait to climb in our big comfy bed with you!

50. To my big, strong, hunky husband: I miss you and can’t wait to be together again. Good night!

51. Hope you’re having a good night, hon. Our bed never feels quite right without you in it.

52. I know sometimes work keeps you up late, but as your spouse, I’d rather be the one keeping you up late, if you catch my drift!

53. Sleeping Without My Husband: 0/0 do not recommend. Good night, babe!

54. Not everyone has a super hot husband to miss at night, so I know I should feel lucky, but instead, I just feel incredibly deprived of your strong, snuggly arms wrapped around me!

55. To my husband who still thrills me… good night, my love.

56. Good night, although for me it’s never as good as a night as when I get to fall asleep in your arms.

57. You are still my favorite person and I know how lucky I am to have you… good night, babe.

58. Sweet dreams? Psssh, easier said than done if you’re not next to me.

59. My favorite part of the day is when I crawl into bed next to you… coming home soon, babe!

60. To my husband who has spoiled me so much that I struggle to sleep without your arms wrapped around me… Good night, love you!

61. Roses are red, violets are blue, no one has ever had a husband as sweet as you… good night!

62. Hoping you’re having a good night, love. Sweet dreams.

63. Good night to my favorite snuggle buddy ever, love you and miss you.

64. I am proud of you for working so hard but I do miss those big strong arms around me as I drift off to sleep… good night, hon.

65. I’m keeping the bed warm for you, babe. Hurry home, good night!

There are so many ways to show love and affection, but a cute good night message is a sweet way to remind him that he is in your thoughts! Whether you’re sending flirty good night texts to your boyfriend or your husband, a quick good night message for him will increase the chances that even if you can’t physically be in his arms, you can be in his dreams tonight! 

Sweet dreams and happy flirting!

You might also like:

• 110 Flirty Texts for Him: Fun, Cute Text Messages He’ll Love
• Love Letters for Him: Ideas for Sweet, Sexy, Long-Distance & More!
• 78 Good Morning Messages for Him: Flirty Texts Your Man will LOVE
• 75 Sweet and Meaningful Sorry Messages for Her
• How to Flirt With Your Husband: 6 Ways to Kindle the Spark in Marriage
• 50 Festive & Romantic Christmas Messages for Him
• 50 Flirty Questions to Ask a Guy
• Words of Affirmation for Him: 50 Ways to Encourage Your Man
• Couples Morning Routine: Ideas and Inspiration for Morning Rituals
• How to Tell Someone You Like Them: Tips for Grown Ass Adults
• How to Build Trust in a Relationship (Even if it’s Broken)
• 77 Powerful Quotes about Trust in a Relationship
• 75 Perfect Sorry Messages for Him to Show How Much You Care

Amy Hartle

Amy Hartle is the author of Do You Love Me? How To Stop Seeking Reassurance in Relationships, a book on reassurance seeking and relationship anxiety. Both her book and this blog are born of personal experience; Amy shares expert relationship advice from the lessons learned during her own 10+ years with her husband, as well as couples travel tips and romantic getaway recommendations, all gleaned while traveling the world together.

twodrifters.us

Are you looking for anniversary box ideas for him? While there are traditional anniversary gifts for each year you and your love celebrate together, putting together an anniversary box is an incredible way to show your honey how you really feel. Whether this anniversary is paper, leather, or silver for you two, there are some awesome anniversary box ideas for him that are an excellent way to bundle perfect gifts for your love together!

Anniversary Explosion Boxes

First, we have to talk explosion boxes! These are so sweet and cute, it’s no wonder they have exploded in popularity over the last few years—sorry, we just couldn’t resist with that one.

Explosion box anniversary gifts are such a lovely way to walk your sweetheart down Memory Lane; if you’re feeling crafty, you can follow a DIY tutorial, or let someone else put it together for you, but either way, explosion anniversary boxes are wonderful for keepsake anniversary mementos.

“Reasons Why I Love You” Anniversary Box

You know all the little things that your love does that still secretly make your heart skip a beat, even after all this time? Write those bad boys down and put them in a box for your hubby so he can be in on this secret, too!

I wrote my own “Reasons Why I Love You” list if you’d like to get some ideas for your own list, and you’ll also find some clever ways to package your “Reasons Why I Love You” list, too! It can be as simple as handwritten notecards or as involved as including mini-gifts that help illustrate your Reasons Why, like maybe a computer keychain with a note that says, “I love you because you are our resident Tech Whiz” or other cute little trinkets like that.

You can also outsource and have one of these gorgeous wooden anniversary boxes made with heart-shaped Reasons Why I Love You printed on them, too! Reminding your man of all the things you love about him is never a bad move.

Pamper Him Grooming Goods Anniversary Box

Men need pampering, too, even if they don’t realize it/won’t admit it! Make your man an anniversary gift box with all the grooming goods he needs to make him feel every inch a man—a very fresh, clean, great-smelling man, of course. 

There are plenty of ready-made spa/grooming/pamper him boxes out there, like this Man Spa Gift Box, featuring Black Sea Salt soap and scrub, beard oil, and muscle rub, or you can create your own using your love’s favorite shower products, beard grooming goodies, or other body treatment items that you think he might like. Plus, if you include something like luxurious bath salts, there’s a decent chance you just might be invited to join in for the soaking! Everyone deserves a little pampering every now and again, don’t you think?

Get Your Game On Anniversary Box

Couples who play together, stay together. Really and truly, it’s an amazing way to show love and affection, and being playful helps keep things spicy in long-term relationships, too! Make your favorite person an anniversary box filled with fun things to do together, whether it’s board game/card game type activities, or tickets to/plans for fun things to do together. 

There are lots of fun (and sometimes naughty) card games to choose from, or you can take a regular ol’ game like Jenga/tumbling tower blocks and update them into a more risqué couple’s version! Really, any classic board game can be made a little more “adult” by playing it with strip Poker rules, right?

Include a Monopoly board like this adorable Vintage Bookshelf Edition and maybe someday you can play some strip Monopoly together… by the end of the game, someone might end up flipping the board, but it won’t be out of rage!

Feed Him His Favorites Anniversary Box

Okay, this one is pretty self-explanatory; you can 100% just toss his favorites in a box and call it a day, or you can put a bit of a spin on it and include tastes from important moments in your life together. Maybe you could include a bottle of the soda you two shared on your 3rd date when you ended up locked out of the car and sat together on the curb waiting for the locksmith, sharing a drink out of the vending machine together as you laughed and learned more about each other, or maybe you could include a coupon for the Korean BBQ place you went to on your first date that you’ve somehow never made it back to since.

There are a ton of great specialty anniversary boxes with delicious goodies you can order, or you can personalize it to include some flavors from some of your favorite moments together. You know your man, is he into meat and cheese, sweet and spicy, or more chocolate decadence? Either way, if food is the way to a man’s heart and you’re already there, a little more yum certainly won’t hurt!

Nice and Naughty Anniversary Box

Sometimes it’s best to be both naughty and nice, don’t you think? Let your love know how much you still want and desire him by putting together some fun things to keep you two entertained all year long! You can include naughty game cards, a naughty token box, lingerie you will wear for him; you could even set up lingerie for different times of the year: Valentine’s Day lingerie, St Patrick’s Day lingerie, 4th of July lingerie, Halloween lingerie, Christmas lingerie, the sky is the limit, really!

You could even have some enticing boudoir photos taken for him; there’s not a man alive that doesn’t love to see his woman feeling and looking her best for him, is there? Here’s a great option for a premade Steamy Anniversary Box, but honestly, anything you put in your Nice and Naughty anniversary box is sure to be a hit as long as it’s a promise of more intimate time with you.

Love Drunk Anniversary Box

Does your man still make you feel love drunk? Do you still get a little weak in the knees when he gives you “that look?” Return the favor by getting him some goodies so he can enjoy his favorite adult beverages in the sweetest way possible with some special-order items to commemorate the date! 

Is your man a beer drinker? Check out The Brewski Crate, which comes with two personalized pint glasses and a matching bottle opener. Or, if your person prefers a smooth whiskey over a cold brew, look into getting him a Whiskey Crate with two personalized rocks glasses, ice sphere molds, slate coasters, a whiskey-drinking journal to track what he’s sampling, and more! Personalize with your names and the date you got together, or as Man Crates suggests, “Cheers to X Years.” How fabulous is that???

Adventure Awaits Us Anniversary Box

Are you and your honey into adventuring together? Awesome! Plan for some future adventures together with this anniversary box meant to inspire you to keep venturing out into the world together. Are there places you two have talked about going and exploring together but you just haven’t made it happen yet? Well, now’s your chance to take one step closer to making it happen for your love. 

Consider including an itinerary with a calendar and dates blocked off where you plan to make the adventures happen, and include any little items you might need for the adventures, like sunscreen, bug spray, sunglasses, etc.

Have you guys been talking about an autumn Maine getaway for years? Include some info about the best whale-watching, where to go to see moose, where the best places to visit are, cutest small towns, best lobster pounds and fry shacks… this last one is VERY important! Show your love how much you appreciate your adventures together by planning for the next one.

Dream Dates Anniversary Box

What better way to tell your love how much you love spending time with him than to plan to spend more of it with him! Dream Date ideas could be fun stuff like Date Night Adventure scratch-off cards (this one is specifically for Outdoor Dates) where you go on “surprise” dates together, or they could be nights spent cozied up together furiously working to solve a cold case… Seriously, if you guys are into True Crime stuff, this could be the ultimate Dream Date! 

There are lots of cool date night subscription boxes out there you can choose from, too, so look around to find the best fit for you and your beau. Maybe you guys are more into popping open a bottle of vino and relaxing back into the couch to watch your favorite romantic movie than you are into solving murder mysteries. You know you and your man best, fill his anniversary box with the things he (and you) will love to do together!

Couple’s Bucket List Anniversary Box

What’s on your shared bucket list together? Create your very own couple’s bucket list that you can put somewhere in your home where you two will see it often and keep each other motivated to keep sharing those experiences together! 

Do you guys love to travel? Consider putting in something like this gorgeous world map with push pins and a travel journal to keep track of all the places you’ve made it to together. Download a cute bucket list template to personalize and include a few little things to help motivate you to achieve them; maybe you guys have talked about having a spa vacation… include a brochure for the spas you’re looking at and a couple of eye masks. Show your sweetie you’re always thinking about your shared future together with this bucket list anniversary box!

We know your official anniversary isn’t the only relationship milestone worth celebrating, so you can use these anniversary box ideas for him for any particular anniversary you and your man happen to be celebrating. Is it even possible to celebrate your love too much? We don’t think so!

Check out these posts about relationships:

• 10 Exciting Ways to Spice Up Your Marriage
• 24 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Strong After Kids
• How to Manage Expectations in Marriage & Committed Relationships
• How to Flirt With Your Husband: 6 Ways to Kindle the Spark in Your Marriage
• 10 Rules for a Happy Marriage: How to Make Your Relationship Last
• 10 Ways to Maintain Connection in a Relationship

Amy Hartle

Amy Hartle is the author of Do You Love Me? How To Stop Seeking Reassurance in Relationships, a book on reassurance seeking and relationship anxiety. Both her book and this blog are born of personal experience; Amy shares expert relationship advice from the lessons learned during her own 10+ years with her husband, as well as couples travel tips and romantic getaway recommendations, all gleaned while traveling the world together.

twodrifters.us

Marriage is such a beautiful thing, isn’t it? 

Two people deciding to commit to each other for the rest of their lives provides incredible security in addition to all of the other wonderful little perks of being married, and then as funny and as fickle as human beings can be, sometimes this security can start to feel a little… stale? Flat? Dare I even say… boring??? 

Don’t worry, we’ve all been there! 

It’s only natural that relationships, just like people, can fall into a rut and need a little jump-start from the predictability of routine. If this sounds like you and yours, hopefully you will find some helpful ideas in the following 10 ways to spice up your marriage!

Go Beyond the I Love You

Saying “I love you” likely happens every day in very predictable situations: Before you head your separate ways in the morning, before you turn out the light at night, and as a standard sign off in your texts and calls. It’s a testament to the very strong feelings that two people can have for each other that “I love you” can become a phrase that is uttered as a reflex of sorts, with no need to think twice. 

Here’s the thing though: Think twice! Because it is this automatic call and response routine in long-term relationships, it often loses a little of the impact and the oomph that it had when you and yours first uttered these words, right? 

Get creative and bring the oomph back! Think phrases like, “I am so lucky to have you,” or “You still mean the world to me, you know that?” or any other special little phrase that you can sprinkle in where “I love you” used to predictably insert itself. Going beyond the I love you can make sure they are really and truly hearing the heat behind the love you’re slinging their way. 

Get Physical!

At the beginning of a relationship, most couples can’t keep their hands off of each other, but as the years march on, it’s normal for physical affection to fall by the wayside as people get caught up in the day-to-day business of life.

This isn’t just about sexy time, either (although that’s super important, too!) because even just a short back rub or a loving caress of the hand is enough to release oxytocin, the so-called love hormone, and relationships in which couples touch each other often report higher relationship satisfaction. 

Physical affection builds on itself, so set a goal of something like 10 meaningful touches per day with your spouse and see for yourself how you and your partner feel after a few days (and nights!) of intentionally amped-up physical affection.

Share Something New

There’s no doubt about it, sharing new and interesting experiences is bonding, but this can feel like a tall order when a married couple is caught up in the day-to-day routine of life. There can be a lot on the to-do list, but if there’s never anything new and interesting, this can be a sure-fire recipe for boredom in a long-term relationship.

In a world that is increasingly accessible by a few clicks of the ol’ mouse, it’s easier than ever to share fresh, new experiences! Maybe you both have always wanted to learn to ballroom dance; well, Zoom it up and get to dancing in the middle of your living room floor after dinner! It doesn’t have to be anything life-changing; it just needs to be something new that you and your spouse get to learn and experience together. Share something new and grow together so you don’t grow apart!

Mix it Up in the Bedroom

While it’s lovely to learn each other’s every little like and dislike and to create a perfect routine to express your love physically, and still lovely the 2,214th time you’ve danced this same dance, sometimes you’ve got to bust out some new moves! How funky you decide to get is entirely up to you and your partner’s comfort level, but keep in mind that the best way to get out of a rut is to step out of your comfort zone a bit!

Ask your partner to join you for a night of adult shopping from the comfort of your own boudoir and surf a few fun adult sites for goodies like lingerie and accessories. Have fun with it, you can find lingerie for every season… what’s more fun and festive than holiday lingerie?? 

You can also do a little redecorating of your favorite sexy-time space by adding some twinkle lights and candle votives for the perfect mood lighting, and if you’re really feeling bold, add some strategically placed mirrors nearby to add an extra dimension to the experience! There are many ways to build intimacy in your relationship, and mixing it up in the bedroom builds intimacy and passion!

See Someone Else… Together!

When you find a neutral third party who is well-versed in relationships and all of the patterns that people in long-term committed relationships tend to follow, you find answers to all of the Whys and How Comes of your relationship. 

Why wait until the wheels come off to take the car in to be looked at? Get the oil changed, rotate the tires, and come home with tools, tips, and strategies that are perfectly tailored to your relationship and you’ll find that one of the easiest ways to spice up any relationship is to carefully care for and nurture it. 

Travel Together

Traveling together as a couple is a great tool to strengthen marriages, but did you know that couples who travel together have better sex lives, too??? It’s true, we did an entire post about it here! 

There are a few reasons for this, but at its core it is that when you go out in the world somewhere new together, you two are heading out in full on partner mode, ready to take on the world as the fabulous pair that you are. You’re sharing new and fun experiences, you’re not distracted by the pull of everyday responsibilities, and you’re building confidence as you adventure through the world together. You’re going to be even more in tune with each other after this, and any embers that needed fanning are likely to be back to a full-on flame!

Walk down Memory Lane

Want to ride the high of passionate love again? Stroll down memory lane by recreating some of your favorite shared experiences together. Instead of going out and physically doing those things again, grab a little piece of each one and stitch it all together for a unique date night. 

Maybe you start off by having the funny podcast you both about died laughing to in the car that one time all cued up as you lead your spouse over to a bottle of the same wine you shared the first night of your honeymoon. Maybe off to the side is a baby gate with a stuffed cheetah and your cell phone behind it, because on your 2nd date you dropped your cell phone over the side of the cheetah enclosure at the zoo and now it’s a funny inside joke between you two about cheetahs and cell phones.

The whole point here is to share the memories of you two at your best because sometimes the jumpstart a relationship needs is for its participants to remember how great they really are together. 

Prioritize some Playtime

Humans are playful creatures, but oftentimes we can let this part of ourselves go dormant when we get bogged down by the everyday tasks of life. Being playful is a part of what keeps us young and is crucial to friendship in marriage. When the playfulness in your marriage falls to the wayside, so do the associations you two have of each other as being a fun, carefree shelter for the other from all the external worries of the world. 

Playtime can be both adult-themed or completely PG because both are important for maintaining connection and revving up that Wow Factor that you want your marriage to be full of! You can send fun and flirty text messages, surprise your significant other with an inside joke gag gift, or even just schedule yourselves a date night of watching some great stand up on Netflix with your favorite snacks. 

Don’t take yourselves too seriously here: find a way to have fun together, and the more laughter, the better! Laughter gets your feel-good hormones flowing, so you’ll both be feeling great and associating each other’s presence with all those happy chemicals coursing through your blood.

Make their Dreams Come True

Okay, this might sound like a tall order, but hear me out! Most of us have lots of things on the Wish List of Life that are on the back burner, but a little movement going in the direction of dreams can have a big impact on increasing the passion levels in your marriage.

Maybe the dream is a foreign destination vacation that won’t happen for another few years; surprise them by downloading an easy-to-use language-learning app like Duolingo and practice together by exchanging flirty texts and watching films made in that language. Investing time and effort in each other’s dreams fans the flames of passion, big time!

Get a Better Game Plan with a Coach

If you two are ready to play but are still feeling a little bland, it may be time to call in a sex and intimacy coach. Sometimes a couple needs a little more of an individualized game plan to stoke the fire again, and that’s when you should call in a pro! 

There are many advantages to working with an intimacy coach,  including practical ideas and specific tips to help rev up the physical passion between you two. You can search Google or the World Association of Sex Coaches directory, and your physical intimacy pro is just a call or click away! 

Every long-term relationship is going to go through periods where it seems like the spark is, well, just not sparking the way it used to! There are things you can do every single day to strengthen your marriage, but if you’re feeling like your relationship needs a little jumpstart, refer back to this list of 10 ways to spice up your marriage and get your spark back!

Read these next:

• 24 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Strong After Kids
• This Relationship Check-In Can Help You Rock Your Marriage
• 50 Christmas Pick Up Lines and Flirty Texts
• 7 Best Journals for Couples of All Kinds
• How to Manage Expectations in Marriage & Committed Relationships
• 75 Loving Text Messages for Her: Sweet Messages She’ll Love
• How to Fall Back in Love with Your Partner: Tips from 10+ Years of Marriage
• How to Save Your Marriage: 7 Tried & True Tips for You
• 25 Cute Outdoor Date Ideas for a Fabulously Fun Date
• Top 5 Things Your Husband Needs to Hear (and 25 Ways to Tell Him!)
• The Incredible Importance of Self Care in Marriage
• Affair-Proof: 7 Ways to Protect Your Marriage from Infidelity
• How to Build Trust in a Relationship (Even if it’s Broken)

Amy Hartle

Amy Hartle is the author of Do You Love Me? How To Stop Seeking Reassurance in Relationships, a book on reassurance seeking and relationship anxiety. Both her book and this blog are born of personal experience; Amy shares expert relationship advice from the lessons learned during her own 10+ years with her husband, as well as couples travel tips and romantic getaway recommendations, all gleaned while traveling the world together.

twodrifters.us

Have you forgotten how to flirt with your husband? 

Or more likely, you know how but you’ve let it fall to the wayside. 

You might think, I’ve already got my husband, what would I need to flirty with him? Maybe your lives have become some habitual that the idea of flirting at all just doesn’t enter your mind. This is so incredibly normal.

Even in a healthy relationship, you may be happy and content and feeling close to your husband, but you do miss that “spark” you used to have. In so many ways, flirting in marriage can be a kickstarter for intimacy and closeness. Flirting with your husband could be the simple key to recapturing some of that magic and to improving or enhancing your relationship immediately.

There’s a lot of talk about “keeping the spark alive” in a marriage or long-term relationship. That’s because the initial feelings of intensity and passion that usually characterize the start of a relationship don’t stick around forever. Sure, you’ll always meet those couples who seem to have unending passion, but the secret is, they are probably putting a lot of work into maintaining that passion! In other words, it isn’t easy to keep the flame of love burning, especially not if we’re trying to keep it burning as brightly as when we first met.

But the good news is, the flame of a marriage actually burns deeper and hotter. It may not be as easy to keep it cracklin’ (okay, have I used enough fire puns yet?) but it is so much more rewarding and amazing when you do. So flirting in your marriage is an essential if you want to make this happen.

If YOU are wanting to feel closer to your husband, turn up the heat, reignite the passion, then I’m going to give you a few simple ways to flirt with your husband. Maybe these are things you already do, or used to do. Maybe they are brand new ideas to you. Either way, I promise that when you make the effort to flirt with your spouse, good things will come.

Send your husband a flirty text

Probably my favorite way to get flirty with your husband is by sending a flirty little text message. 

This is something you can do even on the busiest days, and it can have a huge impact. 

Send your husband something that will intrigue him. A sassy compliment or innuendo is always well received. If you’re wanting to create anticipation for the evening together, you could drop hints of what you plan to do. Be as racy in your text messages as is comfortable for you. I’ve yet to hear of a husband who did not appreciate a suggestive or flirty text from his wife!

PS: Texts to your husband don’t have to be just flirty, either. They can be sweet and meaningful, and that says a lot about your love for him.

Talk him up in front of others

Complimenting your spouse in front of friends, family, or colleagues can be a real mood-booster. Especially when you’re in a group setting, don’t hesitate to say something awesome about your husband. This is when it’s okay to brag a little. 

This kind of open praise or adoration reminds your husband that not only do you think he’s a great guy, but you also want other people to know it, too. You’re proud of him and proud to be his wife. 

Being appreciated in public makes a person feel confident and desired. In other words, this is an excellent way to flirt.

Wear something special (or nothing at all)

Getting dressed up for your spouse is a simple and fun way to flirt with them! Whether you’re getting dolled up for a date night together or just decide to throw on a slinky little number to wear around the house, your husband is going to appreciate this. 

Our spouses appreciate when we put the effort into our appearance, of course, because it is a reminder that you’re still wanting to impress your partner. This feels exciting and brings back those early day relationship feelings. And honestly, seeing your partner look their best reminds you of your attraction to them all over again. 

So don’t be afraid to put on something special as a way of flirting with your man, and letting him know you love his attention. 

PS: You might also experiment with a lack of clothing, as this is certain to get results!

Have an adventure together

My husband and I are big believers in having adventures together as a couple. You might be surprised that this is actually a great way to get your flirt on, too.

Doing something new and exciting together puts you in a different mindset and, depending on what it is, it may also throw you into new circumstances or surroundings (such as going on a trip together). This is great because it ignites all your senses and gives you a new awareness together. Seeing your partner in this fresh way and bonding over a shared experience tends to naturally ramp up your sense of fun and flirtiness.

Be generous with your compliments

A genuine word of praise never fails to be well-received, but it’s easy to forget to offer these words sometimes, especially in the daily life of a marriage. To flirt more with your husband, try intentionally offering more words of affirmation and appreciation. 

Be generous with your touch

As with compliments, be generous with your physical touch, too. If you’re not in the habit of regularly cuddling, holding hands, or setting aside time to be together physically, make an effort to add in little touches here and there throughout the day. 

Some ideas:

• Forget a peck on the lips on the way to work. Take 15 seconds in the morning to share a passionate kiss
• Touch/squeeze your husband’s shoulder as you pass him at home
• Give him a soothing back massage when you’re watching a movie on the couch
• Hold hands while you’re in the car/put your hand on his leg as he’s driving

Be generous with your touch and unexpected, too! The spontaneity of a sudden kiss on the lips or a smack on the butt can be a delightful surprise for your spouse. 

Which of these ideas for flirting with your hubby do you like the most? What would you add?

Read these next:

• Relationship Advice for Couples: 12 Principles for Lasting Relationships
• How to Strengthen Your Marriage: 6 Simple Things to Do Every Day
• 5 Boundaries in Marriage That Will Actually Make Your Relationship Stronger
• 10 Relationship Rituals That Will Help Your Love Grow Stronger
• 5 Tried-and-True Tips For Building Intimacy in a Relationship
• 105 Cute Ways to Say I Love You
• The Incredible Importance of Self Care in Marriage
• Top 5 Things Your Husband Needs to Hear (and 25 Ways to Tell Him!)
• Affair-Proof: 7 Ways to Protect Your Marriage from Infidelity

Amy Hartle

Amy Hartle is the author of Do You Love Me? How To Stop Seeking Reassurance in Relationships, a book on reassurance seeking and relationship anxiety. Both her book and this blog are born of personal experience; Amy shares expert relationship advice from the lessons learned during her own 10+ years with her husband, as well as couples travel tips and romantic getaway recommendations, all gleaned while traveling the world together.

twodrifters.us

Looking for ways to build intimacy in a relationship? This post will help you! 

If you want to know how to make a relationship stronger, I have something to share. Intimate love goes deeper than a surface connection, and creates a space for you to reconnect emotionally with your partner with every touch. If you want emotional closeness, being intimate is a huge part of how to strengthen your relationship.

This piece was written by Ashley of Mama Says Namaste.

The Love-Making Myth

Once you’re married, you make love all the time. Right? That’s what I thought, at least. One day, when I’m in a committed relationship, we’ll roll in the sheets all day in pure bliss, and the rest of the world will wait.

Yes, I sense your skepticism. There are too many jokes about how intimacy stops when you commit to someone. Regardless of whether it’s a traditional marriage, common law or simply a committed relationship, I have news – intimacy is not automatic. Can you learn how to strengthen your relationship by how to be more intimate? Why yes, yes you can.

Unfortunately, there are many relationships where intimacy of any kind just doesn’t happen. A random handhold over a prayer may be as close as a couple gets. Once in that rut, it’s hard to get out of it. And soon enough, you find yourself living with a roommate or companion. It’s nice enough, but it’s not an intimate relationship. How to be in a relationship with intimate love is possible.

The Sex Challenge

Back in the beginning of our marriage, we had our ups and downs with intimacy, until we hit a crazy turning point. At this time, we had one toddler and were ready to start trying for another. My husband Nathan was more than willing to “practice” for having another baby every night!

As we debated on how much sex we really had, a challenge popped in my head. Now, if you know anything about personality styles, this is an essential foundation for motivation. For me, I love a good challenge. So my husband thinks we don’t make love enough? Fine – 7 day challenge accepted.

We’ve heard about the 7 days of sex challenge, and we figured that was a piece of cake. So we did it. And then we added another week. And another, until we hit a full 365 days. And we kept going.

And yes, our middle child is now 8 1/2 and my youngest is 5. We’ve added two more kids, so in the midst of having babies and toddlers in our home, we somehow managed to have sex consistently almost every single night!

Seriously. Nine Years.

How To Make Your Relationship Stronger

Now yes, let’s not get too technical – we allow for grace. We may not make love every single evening anymore. But who’s to say morning or afternoon should hold us back? And then there are those days when it happens twice, and we may take a break. Intimate love is critical for our emotional closeness – and prioritizing it is one of the #1 pieces relationship advice for couples.

Yes, my friends, you’ve heard me correctly. For the past nine years, through two pregnancies, we’ve averaged making love at least 5 times a week, every week.

Before you tell me I’m absolutely crazy, I’m going to let you know why this is important, what it’s done for us, and how you can create your own intimacy connection.

WHY?

Before you write this off as absolutely ridiculous, hear me out. Making love every day may not work for you. We happen to both be high energy, active people. You burn a lot of calories during lovemaking, and it’s an endorphin rush we love adding into our daily routine – not only for marital health, but our physical and emotional health as well.

You see,

It’s hard to stay emotionally distant when you physically connect on a daily basis.

Read that again. Marriage isn’t simply a one-and-done ceremony. You don’t just say “I do” and your work is done. It’s a daily choice to love another.

Love is a verb

Love is an action – it’s intention, every day, to choose to love your partner, and to show it. How are you doing this on a daily basis? It doesn’t have to be all-out sex. Intimacy can encompass a lot of things. It is a close relationship where there is deeper connection; a familiarity, affection, closeness and confidence in the connection.

So how do you add more intimacy and connection into your relationship?

5 Tips for Intimate Love

Our family has been RVing the States full-time since October 2016. Not only do my husband Nathan and I still make love on a regular basis, we’re navigating this awesomeness with 3 kids and a dog in a 240 sq. ft. travel trailer. So if you think this isn’t possible for you, well…try my life. I’m proof it’s possible.

So here are my top 5 tips for intimacy – both on the road and off.

• Make it a priority.

This may sound like common sense, but it isn’t. Your life reflects what you prioritize. And life happens to us regardless of whether we are intentional in it. Especially with a growing family and tiny curve-balls of children in the home, you can quickly fall into being a “victim of circumstance”, where you are simply reacting to what all is tossed your way. So get intentional. If intimacy in a relationship is a priority for you, that means you are thinking about it every day and you get focused on how you will prioritize and add it in.

Have a love affair with your partner. People have affairs all the time – they get sneaky – and they prioritize it. It isn’t on the sidelines; it’s new, exciting, and their special secret. Why not shift that energy into your partner before an affair is what you go to? Get creative. Have fun. Get sneaky on how you might add in the physical aspect. Touch is an opportunity for intentional connection – and the more we add it in to our relationship, the more our attention is focused there. You can’t really ignore touch for long – if someone is touching you, you pay attention. Especially if it’s in an intimate way. So fix your attention on one another and reach out and physically connect.

• Schedule it in.

I’m not suggesting that this becomes a scheduled, mundane part of a daily routine. But scheduling it in makes it clear for both of you – there is no guessing game; it’s clearly laid out.

Unspoken expectations simply lead to resentment and insecurity.

Lay it out so you have time scheduled in your day to make your physical connection a priority. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate date. There may be a huge shift in your relationship by something as simple as a calendar alert at 3:30 every day that says “kiss your honey”. And that’s it – just a simple reminder every day to physically connect.

It may be quick kiss or hug. It may be “date night” on your calendar once a week. Or, it’s shifting your routine to include time together – always having your morning coffee together, or taking a set amount of time every evening before bed to just talk and touch.

• Lay out the expectation

For us, there was a time when we had special connection time every evening – but without laying things out, we got into a rut where Nathan felt like the pressure was on him every night to lead the show – so he was responsible for setting the mood, initiating touch, etc.

So we clearly laid out expectations. We had a “his, hers, and ours” routine. One night, the focus was all on Nathan – anything he wanted – it could be cuddling up and watching a movie, a massage, making love, or just having deep conversation as we hold hands on a walk. He would share if there is something he wanted to do, and it was my responsibility to make it happen – to set up the room for a massage, pour drinks, do whatever to pamper him. Then the next night, it would be me – same thing – I can call the shots, but Nathan would be responsible for initiating everything. And then on the “ours” nights, we’d work together to connect and create an evening that benefits us both.

Every evening, we still have that set aside as special together time. We draw a line in the sand for when our parent hats come off and we come together as lovers, not simply going over to-dos and parenting, but the two of us truly stopping the tasks and being together.

Be open with one another and clearly communicate your wants/needs. If you aren’t sure, be open about that as well, and learn together. Get to know who you are and what makes you feel the most connected to one another. This is such an important facet of your relationship. And if you don’t know yourself, its hard to expect your partner to know better.

Looking to experiment a bit more together in the bedroom? You can discover together the things you both enjoy. Check out this list of the best vibrators for couples. They might be a perfect addition to your sex life.

• Make it your routine.

Make your partner a priority and just as much an important part of your daily routine as exercise and meditation. Not all habits are bad – you may get into the habit of vegging out in front of the TV every night, or you can create a habit of daily yoga and/or other exercise. I want to stress the importance of creating a habit around your physical connection. It takes 28 days to break a habit…and a full 90 to really enforce a new routine to make it a habit.

If you make it just as much a part of your daily routine as exercise and brushing your teeth, it becomes an automatic part of your life that you miss when you don’t do it. If you exercise regularly, your body misses it and feels “off” if you don’t make it a priority. In the same way, if you create a habit out of physical connection with your partner on a daily basis, you will miss it if you don’t touch. Our physical intimacy is such a part of our daily lives we really notice if a day goes by that we don’t touch. It’s like missing that yoga or meditation that keeps us centered and focused – and connected – for the day.

• Choose love. Every day.

Every day we wake up, and choose to love each other. Like I said before, this isn’t a random thing that just happens to you. Love is a verb that must be acted on. As a marriage and family coach, I work with families to help them shift from chaos and reaction to a life of intention. The first step is to take responsibility for your actions – to recognize that you have a choice in how you react and engage in the world, and in your most intimate relationship.

When you wake up, think about what your goal is when it comes to your relationship. Do you want to connect? To feel love? To ensure your partner feels your support? Before every interaction with your partner, ask yourself, “what is my goal?” Make sure what you say and how you act matches your intention, and, every day, simply choose to act in love.

Author Bio: Ashley takes families from surviving to thriving by helping them uncover how “the uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us.” She guides parents through identifying their strengths – and also their triggers – to live with intention and not simply reaction to the chaos of an ever-growing family. Through her podcast, blogging, coaching and personality “snapshots”, she provides tools and action steps to aid families in creating a life they love to come home to…not “one day”, but in the present moment.   

Ashley, her husband (and podcast co-host), three unschooling daughters and dog are RVing the States full-time. They focus on authenticity, awareness, and embracing love in the present moment.

To find out more about marriage, parenting, minimalism, family travel, personality styles and “functional education”, go to www.MamaSaysNamaste.com

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This article on the characteristics of an emotionally unavailable man is a guest piece by Emma Jones.

When I started dating Matthew, I knew something was not quite right from the very beginning, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Our shared passion for dancing salsa united us, and I thought that the rest would come later as our relationship evolved. 

As much as I was trying to respect his differences, some issues kept on emerging. It took me a while to understand what was happening until I heard the term ’emotionally unavailable man,’ and suddenly, it clicked: I had been dating one without realizing it. 

I made a list of signs that will hopefully help you to identify if you are in a similar situation and decide if it’s worth continuing your relationship.

The Emotionally Unavailable Man – What the Heck is Going On?

*A quick interjection from Amy*

First, let’s define some terms. What is emotional unavailability? What is an emotionally unavailable man?

We asked a therapist to weigh in to offer some help in defining emotional unavailability. Here’s what Kendra A. O’Hora, Ph.D., LCMFT had to say:

Emotionally unavailable means that a person is unable or unwilling to connect with their own or others’ internal landscape.

An emotionally unavailable person will likely show signs of being evasive with intentional or emotional conversations and/or unwilling to emote or express emotion. But here’s an additional, key piece of it all: their capacity for empathy is seriously lacking.

I could talk about empathy for days but suffice to say it’s feeling with people.

When describing emotional unavailability, I prefer to contextualize the behavior in a relational sense. Rather than list off all these things he’ll be doing if he’s emotionally unavailable (cough cough avoidance), let’s unpack how it shows up in connection so that you can be well prepared the next time you’re texting, partnering, or connecting with someone.

When you’re in an emotionally unavailable connection you’ll feel three key things:

• Disconnected

Quick reminder: emotion is good, real good! Someone who is emotionally unavailable will likely stick to emotions that are safe for them (e.g., joy, pride, happiness, anger) and avoid emotions that feel unsafe (e.g., fear, shame, hopelessness). By prioritizing certain emotions he’ll naturally create distance between the two of you. In moments where you need to go deeper, connect with a specific feeling, or want to feel supported, he won’t be able to.

• Invalidated

Another layer of someone’s inability to connect and empathize is that when you are feeling they will gravitate to offering solutions and/or dismissing you. This is because connecting emotionally is not an option so they’ll quickly tell you what to do or offer that what you’re going through is not that bad. If you’ve ever been in one of these conversations you know it’s incredibly exhausting. All you wanted was support, love, and connection and you were left feeling stupid, inferior, and annoyed.

• Alone

As a result of feeling disconnected and invalidated you will likely feel alone. Friend, I’m sad you’re here. Not being emotionally supported in a relationship is painful and isolating. You can feel like you’re trapped, doomed, or stuck here forever. I ache with you.
Chances are you can pinpoint someone in your life whether colleague, sibling, friend, or romantic prospect/partner that is emotionally unavailable.

We’ll soon see that Emma was experiencing a lot of those signs in her relationship. Now back to Emma’s story! 

6 Signs of Emotionally Unavailable Men

He won’t show his feelings 

Matthew lived in his own world, and he never said what was on his mind. When he came back from work, he merely said ‘hi’ and retreated to his studio. He didn’t talk much about his day, his joys, or his concerns. If I asked about his work, he’d either say ‘It was good’ or that he was too tired to talk.

He was even more secretive when my questions were related to his feelings, and I could only guess why he was hiding them from me. Another red flag was that he wasn’t particularly interested in my feelings, either. Sometimes in his company, I felt like I was talking to myself. 

Silence at our dinner table became the norm. I got used to Matt either looking dreamily into the void or mucking around with his phone during dinner. As soon as he finished his meal, no matter how much food I had remaining on my plate, he’d jump up from the table and start washing dishes in the kitchen, or would go back to his computer to play video games.

You aren’t his priority

One thing that hurt me a lot was that Matthew never made me a priority over his friends or other activities. While I wouldn’t expect it all the time, every once in awhile seemed fair to me. When I suggested doing something together over the weekend, he’d say he had to check with his mates first. If his friends suggested anything, he’d go along with them no matter what I had planned.

In my previous relationship, I used to do a lot of things with my boyfriend, but Matt was saying that spending some time separately and having your personal life is healthy. I rolled along with it at the beginning, thinking that I should accept the fact he is a different person than my ex. 

Eventually, when our rare trips and weekends together became non-existent, and the only activity we did together was a quick meal at the local burger joint, I realized that a proper relationship should be more than that.

Matthew focused on work, his hobbies, or anything else that was on his horizon more than he ever focused on me. He would go miles to meet his friends, but he won’t inconvenience himself to modify his routine for me.

I didn’t feel important or appreciated, and the feeling of being special to somebody became a distant memory.

He’s emotionally insensitive

If I was sad or upset, he remained cold and didn’t show any signs of empathy. On the contrary, sometimes, he became frustrated and started picking a fight. Forget about a comforting hug and understanding, he wanted no part of it. 

He called me childish when I was crying, and he was cutting me off when I wanted to talk about our relationship and my feelings, saying that he will speak with me when I start behaving like an adult. However, those conversations never happened, and it seemed like he was avoiding any topics related to feelings.

The thing was that he couldn’t handle his own emotions. Any small mishap or frustration would disbalance him to the point that he’d start acting unpredictably, and that scared me a lot. Matt would start kicking the doors when he couldn’t take my tears any more or leave the house when I needed his compassion the most. This was the biggest deal-breaker for me as emotional support is the foundation of any meaningful relationship.

He dwells on the past

Matthew had strong sentiments for his past that were related to his previous girlfriend. He was in a long term relationship before that lasted over ten years, so I could understand it was not easy for him to just forget all about it. The problem was that he often told me his stories about what he used to do with his ex, but he never did those same things with me.

In the beginning, I let it slide, thinking that Matt needed to heal his old wounds. A year later, I found myself being compared with his ex more than ever, often pointing out her superiority. I even discovered that they had been keeping in touch and having frequent calls. I am not a jealous type, and his ex lived in another country by then, but it was obvious that Matthew couldn’t let his previous relationship go.

Haunted by the past, he couldn’t focus on what was happening here and now. It felt like his ex-girlfriend, and his past relationship was perfect, and that I could never level up with his ex. She was skinnier, a better cook, a more challenging conversation partner. Her name would come up every couple of days, so it felt like I knew everything about her, and she shared the apartment with us.

He doesn’t want to commit

Up until I met Matt, I thought that I was the one who was hard to tame and make to commit. I couldn’t exactly see myself being married and with kids within the next few years, but Matthew took the concept of commitment phobia to a whole new level.

Even though he seemed to be serious about me, planning the future with an emotionally unavailable man was mission impossible. Asking if Matthew wanted to move to a bigger apartment with me or go on a trip the following year was pointless. 

He managed to find all sorts of excuses (an unstable financial situation, insecurity with his job, the unpredictability of climate change) so he could avoid making plans together. The truth was that he did not see himself as a part of my plans. 

Matt used to get panic attacks every time I mentioned even a short weekend getaway. It took me a while to realize that it wasn’t about his tight financial situation, but rather about his personal anxiety related to committing to anything.

He creates distance

As weird as it sounds, oftentimes, he was treating me like an enemy. He’d refuse things I was offering him, including my help and emotional support. He’d dismiss my ideas, even though he was advocating the same things himself a while ago. If I was saying ‘white,’ then he’d surely say ‘black.’

It didn’t take long for me to notice that Matthew was always enthusiastic about going to concerts or restaurants that his friends suggested, and he wasn’t too fussy about anything, while all of my ideas would get turned down. When we made mutual friends, we started going out more often, but only when those friends were inviting us out or going with us. That was his way to demonstrate the distance to me.

The way I interpreted his behavior back then was as self-assertiveness. However, when I think about it from the current perspective, it seems to me like a defensive mechanism in an attempt to mask his inferiority complex.

Why did I keep Dating an Emotionally Unavailable Man?

So, what was keeping me tied to Matthew for over two years, you may ask? Why did I continue dating an emotionally unavailable man even after realizing what was going on?

Every time I felt unappreciated or rejected and started rehearsing the goodbye speech, it seemed like Matt sensed that. He switched to the nice guy mode: he’d bring flowers, take me out to a fancy restaurant, and even listen to what I was saying. He’d make my heart melt, and I ended up scratching my head, wondering why on earth I was even thinking of leaving such a good man.

Guess what happened a couple of days later? Yep, that’s right: he morphed back into this cold, emotionally insensitive creature who lived in his own world and didn’t care about my existence. There was this constant feeling that I didn’t have him, and you know how it works: when you don’t have something, you always want it more.

These are just a few signs of an emotionally unavailable man that I encountered. I am sure that there can be more that might emerge depending on your situation and the partner that you are with. The bottom line is to spot the red flags as early as possible and ask yourself if it is worth wasting your time on someone who doesn’t want the same things that you do. Otherwise, you will end up feeling hurt, depressed, unimportant, and rejected. Nobody wants to be there, and I know better that it doesn’t feel good to end up like that.

How to Deal with an Emotionally Unavailable Man

What should you do if you’re in a relationship with someone who is emotionally unavailable?

A few more words from Dr. O’Hora: 

I do want to offer a bit of hope though for those who are thinking they currently have an emotionally unavailable connection in their life. Not every person who is emotionally available is choosing to be that way.

I come across many people who have not been properly modeled emotional availability, nurturance, or support. Therefore, they default to what they know. This does not mean that this person doesn’t care about you. Please oh please do not mix this up. I hear a lot of women lament that their partner must not love them or care about them and it breaks my heart.

However, just because a partner is emotionally unavailable does not mean it is your job to teach and educate them on how to grow in this area. They likely need therapy and other resources that can help them learn to empathize and connect emotionally. And this will take years of effort and healing.

Let’s jump back to the person who is unwilling to grow or recognize their weakness in this area. This is the person who is choosing to be emotionally unavailable. If you’re in the talking, dating, or early partnering phase – it’s time for you to pause and look within: why are you connecting with someone who cannot support your emotional needs? What are they offering you that is taking priority over emotional rawness and health? And, is this the best long-term fit? These are great questions to begin sorting through.

About the author: Emma Jones enjoys observing and exploring the world around her and writing about her discoveries. Human relationships is her favorite topic, and she likes to analyze them from a psychological perspective. She is a contributing author at Thought Catalog, The Huffington Post, GoDates, and several other media outlets.

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